Who Is The Sidechick?

As a casual remark, a colleague once blatantly told me that every wife should pack a pack of contraceptives in her husband’s luggage whenever he travels for a meeting or an event. Implying that all married men have extramarital affairs, and while they can’t be prevented from cheating, they can be protected from contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs). 

As shocking as this is, the idea of side-chicks has become so normalised in today’s culture that it barely raises eyebrows anymore. What was once seen as outright betrayal is now often excused, joked about, or even expected in certain circles. 

Extramarital affairs are no longer whispered scandals but rather common plotlines in movies, social media discussions, and even real-life relationships. But no matter how well this concept is justified, whether by claiming it “keeps the marriage exciting,” “fills a void,” or is “just a man’s nature,” the hard truth remains: the presence of a side chick or a side-guy is a direct attack on true intimacy.

Affairs have existed for as long as relationships have, but what has changed is how society views them. Several factors have contributed to this increasing tolerance of infidelity. 

For instance, music, movies, and online trends often glorify the idea of having a ‘side’ as something fashionable or even necessary. Songs romanticise mistresses, movies depict affairs as thrilling, and social media platforms serve as breeding grounds for secret rendezvous.

Marriage and long-term relationships used to be anchored in deep commitment, sacrifice, and exclusivity. However, with changing societal values, loyalty is no longer as prioritised as personal happiness and pleasure.

Many people justify stepping outside their relationships because they feel unheard, unappreciated, or neglected by their primary partner. Instead of addressing the cracks in their relationships, they seek comfort elsewhere. Unfortunately, that’s not maturity especially if your partner is willing to help address the problem.

Today, concepts like open marriages, situationships, and entanglements have made blurred relationship lines more acceptable. Meanwhile, they are just excuses to avoid accountability.

Knowing that your partner has someone else, not only threatens the intimacy you share with your partner, it creates insecurity, self-doubt, and emotional distress. The partner on the receiving end of infidelity often battles anxiety and deep feelings of inadequacy.

Moreover, the presence of a side partner makes it easy for the one cheating to abandon the effort required to maintain a primary relationship. Instead of fixing what’s broken, they rather take the easy way out, finding comfort in someone new rather than rebuilding intimacy with their partner.

I believe true intimacy can be protected and restored if ever lost, especially if the relationship is worth fighting for. However, it requires effort and it always begins with an open and honest communication. It is only a partner who is not genuinely interested in the relationship that avoids honest conversations. However, a true and committed partner would always like to address what led to the emotional disconnection in the first place.

Following the honest conversation, partners must recommit to each other, set aside intentional time to reconnect and rediscover each other and establish emotional and physical boundaries to prevent external interferences because intimacy is a choice and requires daily commitment, even when the excitement fades.

This is truth, and we all know that a side chick may provide temporary excitement, but she can never replace real intimacy. Relationships that last are not built on secrecy, deception, or fleeting pleasure; they are built on trust, love, and mutual investment.

So, before you justify having a side partner, ask yourself: are you seeking love, or are you just chasing distraction?

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