WANTED

Love is often celebrated in its most glamorous moments, like the picture-perfect smiles and the effortless chemistry. But real love is tested in the quiet, unfiltered seasons when beauty shifts when circumstances stretch us when the weight of life leaves its mark on our bodies, minds, and hearts.

I once had a conversation with a young bachelor about his expectations for a wife. He spoke with confidence and ignorance about how he could tell, just by looking at a woman, if she would gain weight after childbirth. He audaciously remarked how he would never marry such women because he detests fat and thick ladies.

His words stung. Not for me alone, but for every woman whose body has changed through the natural seasons of life. Here was a man who hadn’t even said “I do” to anyone, yet was already disgusted by something as inevitable as a woman’s body evolving with time.

There was also a lady friend who suddenly had an unexpected skin reaction that changed her facial appearance. She tried everything to clear it, but nothing worked. The man she was with at the time looked at her and said, “Get it fixed.” And when she couldn’t, he walked away for someone he deemed more beautiful.

Later, she found love again in an unexpected way. When her new partner confronted her about the condition, she explained everything to him and this was his reply, “We will get it fixed.”

There’s a world of difference between “Get it fixed” and “We will get it fixed.” Just like there’s a difference between a love that stays and a love that leaves when beauty fads, health deteriorates and money depreciates.

I am a mother. I have gained weight from pregnancy. And though there were moments I felt unlike myself, I have never felt unwanted. But I know this is not every woman’s story. 

Too many people wake up one day feeling like strangers in their own homes, abandoned by the very person who once vowed to love them. So many people live with the silent fear that love is conditional. That they are only as valuable as their appearance, as desirable as their youth, and as worthy as their ability to meet expectations. 

Some carry the weight of knowing their partner’s love is dependent on things that will not last, things that time and life will inevitably change. But is that real love? Certainly not.

Real love says, “You don’t have to be perfect for me to choose you, every single day.”

It’s the kind of love that doesn’t waver when the body changes after childbirth, when stress carves new lines into a face, or when sickness takes its toll. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t walk away when challenges come, but instead, it leans in deeper and it says “We will get this fixed.”

The deepest security in a relationship is knowing that you are loved for who you are, not just how you look. It is knowing that even as life changes you, the love you share remains. Because in the end, love isn’t about meeting impossible standards, it’s about being wanted for exactly who you are.

It means being seen beyond the surface, being valued beyond expectations, and being held with the kind of love that doesn’t fade with time. If you have that kind of love, protect it, nurture it and appreciate it.

And if you don’t, remember this: You are still worthy of it. You are not too much or not enough you are simply waiting for the love that sees you, chooses you, and stays.

To those yet to be married, I ask you this, when you choose someone to walk through life with, will you love them through every season? Through weight gained, scars earned, bad health and bad times?

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