Belittled

You’d think it was a joke until you realize it’s been sitting with you for years, that one moment your parent made a comparison between you and your sibling. I’m sure it hurt you badly, and you still haven’t recovered.

Sometimes, the way the house even cheers louder when your sibling walks in, the way your efforts are greeted with silence, or how the spotlight seems permanently reserved for someone else gives off a painful feeling of comparison. 

Consistently and gradually, somewhere deep down, a quiet insecurity takes root. It grows, even when you don’t want it to. Even when you love your sibling deeply and before you know it, you are despising and hating, if unchecked.

Family is supposed to be your first safe space. But sometimes, that space can become a mirror that only reflects what you lack, and anytime they remind you that you aren’t enough, you may find other relatives, telling you to brush it off because your parent never mean it that way.

So you grow up, but a part of you still sits in that old living room, wondering why you were never the one they bragged about. Why you were always the one trying to catch up?

The truth is, that comparison in families is more common than we care to admit, even though it isn’t always malicious. Sometimes, it’s parents trying to push us to be better, except it backfires. 

Instead of inspiration, it leaves an invisible wound. You don’t just feel second-best; you start living like it. You shrink yourself. You question your worth. You either fight to be seen, or you stop showing up altogether.

And here’s the twist, no one talks about it. Because how do you tell the people you love that they made you feel small? How do you explain that the bitterness you carry isn’t jealousy, but pain? 

That you cheer for your siblings, but sometimes, clapping hurts. Because you were never clapped for.

Regardless, there is always a way out, and that way is reconciling and healing from the pain. Certainly, the path may be different for everyone but the result is what matters the most. 

For some, healing means having that uncomfortable conversation with a parent or a sibling. For others, it’s learning to affirm themselves in ways their family never did. You stop measuring your value with their ruler. You start defining your success, your own pace, and your joy.

It is important that you know this; you shouldn’t feel like the forgotten child, you are not invisible. You never were. You may not have been the favourite in someone else’s story, but you are the main character in your own story, and that is what matters.

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Have you ever felt like the ‘lesser’ sibling? What triggered that feeling, and how has it shaped your self-worth today?

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