Inspiring Change Every Day with Grace
Why We Can’t Stop Fighting to Be in Charge
Why do we wrestle so much with control? From the smallest arguments in relationships to the biggest struggles in leadership, people everywhere are in an endless tug-of-war to be in charge.
It is almost instinctive. The urge to take the steering wheel of life; to decide, to dominate, to direct. Clearly, it is written deep in human behaviour. But beneath that urge lies a question that stirs the heart: are we truly after control, or are we simply desperate for security?
Think about it. The more unpredictable life feels, the more we tighten our grip. A child clings to their toy not because it’s valuable, but because it’s theirs. Adults are no different. We fight for control not always because we want power, but because losing control feels like losing safety.
The human heart hates uncertainty, and control feels like the antidote. Yet life, in all its wild unpredictability, laughs at our attempts to manage every detail.
The battle for control shows up in relationships. Who decides what happens, where to go, or how things should be done? It shows up in workplaces where egos collide over decisions, strategies, or leadership roles.
It shows up even in our quiet personal lives, when we beat ourselves up because things didn’t go according to plan. At its core, the fight to be in charge is really a fight to silence our fears of being vulnerable, unseen, or powerless.
The irony is that the tighter we try to control everything, the more control slips away. Think about water in your hand, squeeze it too hard and it spills through your fingers. Many people burn bridges, lose peace, and choke their joy, all because they cannot release their need to be in charge.
Control gives a temporary high, like winning an argument or calling the shots. But soon reality reminds us that life is too big to be mastered by one person’s grip.
Psychologists argue that control is tied to survival. When people feel helpless, they crumble faster. This is why experiments show that workers who feel they have some control over their tasks perform better than those who feel dictated to.
But having control is not the same as being in control of everything. One is healthy, the other is destructive. The wisdom lies in knowing where your influence ends and where trust must take over.
So maybe the real battle is not about who’s in charge, but about who can let go. Imagine the freedom of not needing to win every fight, not needing to hold the world on your shoulders, not needing to prove you’re the boss in every situation.
Control can keep you rigid, but surrender to wisdom, to love, even to God can keep you human. Sometimes, true power is not in holding the reins, but in knowing when to release them.
The battle for control is one we all face. But before fighting too hard to be in charge, be sure you are leading, and not just afraid of losing. That simple question might save you from unnecessary wars and open the door to peace.
What scares you most about not being in control — failure, rejection, or the unknown? Share your response anonymously through this link https://gdpd.xyz/dailygrace
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