Inspiring Change Every Day with Grace
Not What You Truly Desire
Desire often disguises itself as wanting something specific. It points at an object and says, ” That is it. But if you look closely, desire is rarely about the thing it claims to want. The object is just the surface. Beneath it, something deeper is stirring, something asking to be felt, understood, or healed.
Think about how desire behaves. You finally get what you wanted; the relationship, the achievement, the validation and for a moment, there’s relief. Then restlessness creeps back in. The excitement fades faster than expected. Soon, desire shifts its attention elsewhere.
This is not because you are ungrateful or incapable of satisfaction. It’s because desire was never rooted in the object. It was pointing to an internal state you hoped the object would give you: aliveness, safety, worth, belonging, or meaning.
Attraction works the same way. We think we desire a particular person, but often we are responding to how they make us feel about ourselves; seen, chosen, energised, powerful, calm.
The person becomes a symbol, a mirror reflecting something we want to experience internally. When that feeling disappears or when the person can no longer hold that projection, desire either turns into disappointment or moves on, still searching.
Ambition follows a similar pattern. We chase success, money, recognition, or influence, believing they will finally quiet the inner hunger. But what we’re really longing for is freedom, security, respect, or a sense that our life matters.
When ambition is misunderstood, it can quietly become a master instead of a tool. You keep running, not because the goal excites you anymore, but because stopping would force you to face the emptiness you hoped the goal would fix. This is where desire becomes dangerous, because it can easily control us when we mistake its direction.
Mature desire doesn’t yank you forward; it informs you. Instead of asking, “How do I get this?” the question becomes, “What is this desire revealing about me?” Is it pointing to a need for rest? For intimacy? For creative expression? For self-respect? When desire is understood this way, it becomes a compass rather than a craving.
Desire does not need to be killed, silenced, or indulged blindly. When you understand that desire is never about the object, you reclaim power. You become less manipulable, less impulsive, and more intentional.
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