Better Naked Than Covered

A controversial debate has emerged in some Christian circles that couples should see each other’s nakedness before marriage. 

The argument stems from real-life cases where individuals have hidden critical truths about themselves until after the wedding, some of them with very devastating consequences.

Take, for example, the shocking story of a woman who discovered on her honeymoon that her husband was impotent; he could not father a child or perform his manly duties as a husband, even though he was a wealthy man. She felt deceived because he had intentionally kept it from her.

Or the woman who married a man under the impression that he was financially stable, only to find out after the wedding that he was drowning in debt. She felt betrayed, realising that she had been misled into a life she hadn’t signed up for.

Then, there’s the infamous case of a woman who was a hermaphrodite but never disclosed this to her fiancé. Out of fear of rejection and due to strict Christian principles of ‘no sex before marriage,’ she concealed her medical history. When her husband found out on their wedding night, he was overwhelmed with shock and felt deeply deceived.

These stories all point to a bigger issue; deceit in relationships. The real question is not whether couples should see each other’s naked bodies before marriage, but whether they should see the full truth about each other before making a lifelong commitment.

The foundation of intimacy is trust, and when deception enters a relationship, that foundation is cracked. Studies show that honesty in relationships leads to stronger emotional connections, while hidden truths often lead to divorce or deep dissatisfaction. 

Many people go into marriage not knowing key details about their partner, whether it’s past relationships, medical conditions, financial status, or even family history. While some might argue that certain truths should remain private, others insist that full disclosure is essential for long-term marital happiness.

Well, I believe information as vital as these must be non-compromising. Therefore before committing to a lifelong union, partners must have open and honest conversations about each other, especially about each other’s health and medical history. Are there any conditions, whether physical or mental, that your partner should know about?

Also, several people believe that what is past should remain in the past and never be spoken of, but I am of the view that couples should be interested in knowing some aspect of their partner’s past relationships and experiences. While the past is past, honesty about such significant experiences can surely prevent certain future conflicts.

Additionally, partners should have conversations about their financial situation. Are there debt, savings, and spending habits that can make or break a marriage? Open up about it and discuss the way forward that would best suit both of your financial statuses.

Finally, partners should open up about their sexual expectations and beliefs. Have conversations about physical intimacy and your expectations before the wedding night. Different people have different sexual needs and capacities, some though inherent, others have been gained from experiences. Whichever way, partners must discuss this before one person runs away from home. 

Regardless of the ongoing conversations, our Christian values are already strong on purity before marriage and certainly do not encourage deception. The conversation rather should be centred on the discussions above, because without a doubt, I believe, it is always better to see your partner naked in truth before the wedding than to see him or her covered in lies during the marriage. 

A relationship built on half-truths, secrets, or illusions will eventually crumble under the weight of reality. The best way to protect your intimacy in marriage is to build it on honesty from the start.

So, before saying “I do,” take off the veil of deception and ensure you truly see and accept the person you’re committing to for better or worse.

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