Recently, I was in a gathering with a group of young people discussing relationships, success, and life goals. The conversation was lively and full of strong opinions.
Everyone spoke about what a successful life should look like, how relationships should function, what kind of lifestyle was desirable, and what counted as progress. Yet when someone gently asked why they believed those things, the room became noticeably quieter. Many could explain what they believed, but very few could explain why.
And my first guess, was repeated exposure. You know how sometimes, we adopt things because that’s what we are used to or have learnt over the years; you cook a certain way because that’s how mom taught you without knowing and understanding exactly why it is done that way.
So, it was no surprise their justifications for those convictions were not very rooted. In fact, I could relate to this, because there are certain opinions I have defended without ever tracing where they came from. Some were influenced by social media, some by movies, some by admired public figures, and others by the people around me.
What made the experience significant was recognising how invisible this process can be. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to surrender their sense of self. It happens gradually. We watch certain lifestyles repeatedly. We hear particular messages often enough. We observe what society rewards, celebrates, and praises.
Eventually, familiarity begins to feel like truth. The brain is wired to normalise what it encounters frequently. That is the mere exposure effect; the tendency to develop preferences simply because something has become familiar. What we repeatedly begin to feel natural, even when we have never critically examined it.
The more I think about this, the more I notice how culture operates precisely this way. Many of the ideas shaping modern life travel through entertainment, technology, education, fashion, and social media.
Some influences bring genuine growth. They introduce new ways of thinking, challenge harmful traditions, and expand opportunities. Others, however, create subtle pressures to conform. And that’s how cosmetic surgeries like BBL, have become a goal for some; a curvy body is the perfect body. It attracts benefits. It’s an investment for some. A narrative was pushed subtly and adopted unwisely despite the risks. Before long, people are not simply consuming culture; culture is consuming them.
Looking back, I wish I had spent more time questioning the origins of my own preferences, assumptions, and ambitions. Because understanding their roots would have made my choices more intentional. Today, I realise that maturity is not simply becoming who the world expects me to be. It is becoming conscious enough to choose who I am becoming.
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