Judging People Like Me

There was a time when I’d scroll past certain posts and scoff. Someone oversharing about their struggles? ‘Too emotional.’ A guy expressing his fear of not being enough? ‘Man up.’ A girl showing up confidently despite being different? ‘She’s doing too much.’

Back then, I thought I was just being real. But in truth, I was projecting. The truth was deep down I was them. I just didn’t dare to be honest yet.

It’s funny how we tend to mock in others what we secretly dislike about ourselves. When you haven’t made peace with your pain, it’s easier to throw stones than sit with the mirror. You point fingers at someone’s weight, someone’s fashion, someone’s openness, someone’s silence… only to realize that your judgment is more about your discomfort than your choices. 

That’s the silent power of internalized insecurity, it disguises itself as sarcasm or standards, but it’s just fear-wearing pride.

I remember once criticizing someone for being too soft emotionally. A few years later, I found myself choking up over the same issues I once rolled my eyes at. That moment broke something in me, but it also began to build something new. 

I realized I had been rejecting myself through other people. What I mocked was the part of me that never felt safe to be seen.

Most people who project don’t even know they’re doing it. We grow up in environments where expressing vulnerability is punished or misunderstood. 

So we tuck away our sensitive sides and adopt toughness like armour. But armour is heavy. It distances us from our authentic selves and others. Slowly, our relationships suffer, our joy gets filtered through fear, and we become strangers to our truth.

Healing begins when we stop laughing at people’s struggles and start listening to them. When we ask ourselves, “Why does this trigger me?” instead of judging blindly. It takes humility to admit you mocked what you didn’t understand. But that moment of honesty could be the beginning of deep emotional growth.

The truth is, you can’t project and heal at the same time. At some point, we all must decide: will I keep hiding behind judgment or will I do the work of facing the parts of me I’ve buried? 

Self-acceptance isn’t a straight road. It’s a messy journey of learning, unlearning, and showing up every day with a bit more grace for yourself and others. So, find healing, accept who you are and rock it with pride

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Have you ever realised you were judging someone for something you later found in yourself? What changed your perspective?

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