Are Your Intentions Yours?

There are times we wake up chasing goals that were never really ours. They feel familiar, even urgent, but not because they resonate deeply, rather, because the world around us has handed them down like inherited scripts. 

From an early age, most of us have been gently nudged, pushed, or even shoved into wanting certain things; careers that sound respectable, lifestyles that mirror status, or relationships that tick societal boxes. 

And the strange part? We often don’t pause to question where those desires came from. We wear them like tailored suits, only to later wonder why they don’t quite fit.

Intentions, at their purest, are meant to reflect who we are and what we truly value. But when social norms, expectations, and subtle pressures come into play, that clarity begins to blur. 

Think about how often we say we want something simply because it’s what people do at a certain age or stage. It could be marriage, a car, a new job title, or even relocating abroad as it is now. 

The world claps for these milestones. And we, in turn, chase the applause sometimes louder than we chase our peace.

Every environment we exist in; our families, schools, friend groups, religious spaces, and digital communities leave fingerprints on our intentions. 

We don’t just absorb language and culture; we absorb what’s admired, what’s rewarded, and what’s condemned. 

That’s how the guy who once wanted to be an artist ended up in finance, and the woman with a dream to build a social enterprise suddenly found herself working corporate simply because it’s secure. 

Over time, those shifts feel normal, because when everyone else is heading in one direction, taking a detour feels like rebellion.

But real emotional maturity begins when we start noticing the subtle shaping. When we start asking, “Do I truly want this, or have I been trained to want it?” That question alone can unravel years of unconscious choices. 

It’s not always easy to answer, especially when approval, stability, and belonging are at stake. Yet, nothing is quite as exhausting as pursuing a life that doesn’t align with your core. It’s like running a marathon in shoes that don’t fit, they may look good, but they’ll wound you with every step.

Social media has intensified this pressure in recent years. We are now constantly comparing not only what we have but what we desire. The viral success stories, the lifestyle influencers, and the curated wins, all form part of the societal echo chamber that tells us what’s desirable. 

It takes courage to pause and sift through our motivations. It takes courage to admit that some of the things we’ve prayed for, planned for, and posted about may not reflect who we are becoming. But that moment of pause is powerful. It invites truth into our intentions and helps us rewrite the scripts we never meant to act out in the first place.

So, if you ever find yourself chasing something with all your might, take a step back and ask: Who planted this desire? Whose voice do I hear when I picture my future? The answers may surprise you. But they may also set you free..

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Have you ever chased a goal or made a major decision, only to later realise it wasn’t really what you wanted but what you were conditioned to want?

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