Inspiring Change Every Day with Grace
Not Everyone Means Well
I used to think the worst kind of people were those who openly admitted they didn’t care about others. Turns out, the most dangerous ones are those who pretend they do.
These are people with selfish motives. They usually know how to appeal to your emotions, make themselves indispensable, and subtly shift the focus toward their needs.
They often hide such intentions behind consistency, and what appears to be genuine concern. But don’t be fooled, manipulation can come gift-wrapped in compliments and convenience. And if you’re not discerning, you’ll mistake convenience for care and strategy for sincerity.
The worst part? They always leave you wondering if you’re overthinking. People with selfish intentions are often skilled manipulators. They’ll gift you just enough sweetness to keep you unsure.
It makes it hard to confront, hard to leave. You feel guilty for even suspecting them, yet deep inside, something feels off. No one has to tell you this, but if you have such people in your life please protect yourself.
However, protecting yourself from selfish intentions doesn’t also mean becoming closed off. It means becoming more aware. It means learning how to listen with your ears but observing with your spirit.
It means realising that some people only love the version of you that benefits them. So the boundaries you set are not walls, they’re filters. Filters that say, “Prove to me that you’re here for me, not just what I can do for you.” Filters that force you to become more emotionally intelligent, not emotionally hardened.
I’ve learned to ask better questions now. I take my time with new people. I observe how they handle my ‘no’. I notice if they remember things that matter to me, or only bring up their agenda.
Most importantly, I trust my discomfort. If someone drains me consistently or leaves me feeling unsure of my worth, that’s a sign, not a puzzle to figure out, but a decision to make.
To everyone navigating friendships, dating, church groups, or even professional spaces, please remember this: your energy is currency. Stop spending it on people who only come to make withdrawals.
Know when to invest and when to walk away. It’s not coldness, it’s wisdom.
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Have you ever felt used by someone who pretended to care? What gave them away eventually?
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