Inspiring Change Every Day with Grace
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
It starts with a thought, innocent and convincing. You tell yourself you’re doing something out of kindness, but deep down, a small, almost imperceptible whisper suggests otherwise.
Maybe you’re offering help because you want to be seen as generous. Maybe you’re staying in a relationship, not out of love, but because you fear being alone.
The mind is a master storyteller, spinning narratives that make us feel good about our choices, even when they are built on shaky foundations.
That is self-deception; it is one of the most dangerous forms of dishonesty because the person lying is also the one being deceived. Unlike external deception, where someone else may challenge your falsehoods.
Self-deception hides in the corners of your mind, unchecked. It allows you to justify decisions that contradict your true values. It is believed that people engage in self-deception just to maintain a positive self-image, avoid discomfort, or protect their ego.
It’s why someone might claim they’re working late for financial security when, in reality, they’re avoiding problems at home. It’s why a person can say they’re over a breakup while secretly stalking their ex on social media.
The scariest part? You often don’t realize when you’re doing it. The mind cleverly filters out evidence that contradicts the narrative you prefer.
Think about the times you’ve dismissed warning signs in a relationship, convinced yourself you weren’t jealous, or told yourself you were fine when you were far from it.
How often do we paint ourselves as victims to avoid accountability? Or call something fate when it was just a pattern we refused to break?
The only way around this is to be honest with ourselves. The kind of honesty that strips away excuses and exposes your rawest fears and desires.
It’s in the quiet moments, when no one is watching, that you must ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Not the answer that makes you look good, but the one that feels uncomfortably true. The truth is sometimes, facing that truth hurts more than the lie ever did.
Unfortunately, many of us are trapped in a story of our own making, often hiding behind intentions that don’t align with our true feelings. Perhaps it’s time to stop deceiving ourselves because the hardest person to be honest with is often the one staring back in the mirror.
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Have you ever convinced yourself you were doing something for the right reasons, only to later realize you had deceived yourself? What was the moment of truth like?
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