I have often reminded myself that every story has more than one side. I was not present in their home, so I cannot claim to know every detail. Yet there are moments when the issue is no longer who was right or wrong in every argument. The issue becomes what we do with truth when it is placed in our hands.
This is the story of a couple whose marriage ended in a painful divorce some years ago. The husband, whom I had known for some time, had been repeatedly unfaithful. Eventually, his wife discovered that another woman was pregnant with his child and that led to their divorce.
What surprised me even more was that, afterwards, the husband began quoting Scripture at every opportunity not to search his own heart, but to defend his decisions, paint himself as the victim, and publicly question the character of the woman he had once promised to love.
Watching someone use something as sacred as Scripture to justify personal choices while diminishing another person’s dignity made me deeply uncomfortable. It forced me to confront a question that reaches far beyond this marriage: Can something that is right become wrong in the way it is used?
Not long after, I came across a simple statement on someone’s status that refused to leave my mind: ‘Before you use the Word of God as a sword, first use it as a mirror.’ The sentence was short, but its weight was enormous.
It reminded me that truth was never meant to become a weapon for winning arguments while escaping accountability. It was first meant to expose the one holding it. A mirror reveals but a sword attacks. The tragedy is that many of us reverse that order.
The more I reflected, the more I realised this is not limited to religion only. People misuse many good things for the wrong reasons. Knowledge can be used to intimidate instead of educate. Authority can silence instead of protect. Policies can exclude instead of create fairness. Wealth can control instead of empower.
Even kindness can sometimes be manipulated to gain influence. The problem is rarely the thing itself. The problem is the heart directing it. Good tools in the hands of unhealthy and evil people often produce harmful outcomes.
Human beings have a remarkable ability to protect their self-image. When our actions threaten how we see ourselves, we naturally look for explanations that preserve our innocence. Instead of admitting fault, we search for evidence that justifies us. Sometimes we selectively quote facts. Sometimes we rewrite memories.
Sometimes we gather supporters who reinforce our version of events. And sometimes, more dangerously, we borrow the language of morality or faith to make our actions appear righteous. It is easier to defend an image than to confront a wound.
Accountability is necessary. Consequences are sometimes unavoidable. But there is a profound difference between confronting someone’s behaviour and stripping away their worth. One corrects actions; the other attacks identity. Human dignity requires that even difficult truths be handled with honesty, humility, and compassion.
I have come to believe that one of the clearest signs of maturity is not how accurately I can point out another person’s faults, but how willingly I allow truth to examine me first. Every belief, every principle, every position I hold should first shape my own character before I use it to evaluate someone else. When truth begins as a mirror, it has the power to transform. When it begins as a weapon, it often leaves unnecessary wounds.
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