I concur that indeed “the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill” (Ecclesiastes 9:11, KJV).
Life has a way of unsettling our assumptions about who should arrive first, who should become successful, and who should remain ahead. Sometimes, the person we encouraged when they had very little becomes the person achieving what we once dreamed of.
The colleague we introduced to an opportunity eventually occupies the position we hoped to reach. The person whose school fees we helped pay builds a company larger than anything we have attempted. And when that happens, something very human can rise within us: pride, joy, and, sometimes, an uncomfortable question, How did they get ahead of me?
It is easy to say, “I helped him get there,” and feel a sense of entitlement to the outcome. After all, I was there when the person struggled. I gave the advice, made the introduction, provided the money, shared the opportunity, or simply believed when others did not. But goodwill becomes complicated when support turns into an invisible claim on another person’s achievements. You may have contributed to their journey, but their success still belongs to them.
I think about how easily comparison can corrupt generosity. You can give sincerely and still struggle when the person you helped begins to outgrow you. That does not necessarily make you a bad person. We all carry hopes for our own lives, and sometimes another person’s progress shines an uncomfortable light on where we feel we have fallen behind.
Their success can expose our unfinished ambitions. Their promotion can remind us of the application we never submitted. Their business can make us question why ours stalled. Their influence can awaken the fear that perhaps we have been left behind.
Well, it’s time to start learning to separate your success from your insecurity. Someone else’s advancement is not evidence of your failure. Life is not a single ladder where every person must occupy a different rung. There are different seasons, different gifts, different opportunities, different circumstances, and different forms of grace.
A person can rise quickly because of timing, preparation, connections, courage, privilege, sacrifice, or an opportunity that you simply did not receive. Another may take years to flourish. The visible outcome rarely tells the whole story.
There is also something deeply beautiful about becoming part of someone’s story. If you helped someone gain an education, find employment, start a business, develop confidence, or discover an ability they had not recognised, perhaps the greatest evidence that your goodwill mattered is not that they remain beneath you. It is that they eventually stand beside you or even move beyond where you have reached.
When someone you once supported surpasses you, resist the temptation to feel displaced. Remember that you were never supposed to be the destination of their journey. You were simply fortunate enough to be useful at one point along the way. And if their success gives them greater capacity to lift someone else, then perhaps the goodwill has multiplied beyond what either of us could have planned.
A generous life is not measured by how many people remain indebted to you, but by how many people become stronger because you were willing to help. If someone you once carried can now carry others, you should not feel diminished. You should feel grateful that, for a small part of their journey, you were able to help them walk.
Ready to turn goodwill into action?
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