I once watched two people become known for entirely different reasons. One seemed to have mastered the art of being noticed. He was full of theatrics. Every conversation somehow circled back to his achievements. Jayden spoke with remarkable confidence, interrupted others freely, and always had an answer even when he understood very little.
Unlike her brother, Jessie was always reserved. She listened attentively, asked thoughtful questions during conversations, and quietly solved problems that others had overlooked. She rarely sought credit, yet when things got hard, I instinctively looked for her. She’d say, “Uncle Phil, please let’s do it this way .” And sometimes, before I think, she’d already thought of a solution. She never competed for attention, but over time, she became indispensable in my life.
Watching both over several months, reminded me of a program I attended last year dubbed ‘Visibility’, where Joe Mettle was the main speaker. I remember going straight to sit at the back seat when the ushers brought me in front just behind the man of God and right beside Joe Mettle’s P.A. As the program unfolded, a young man walked in cladded in a white double breasted tuxedo complimented with breathtaking accessories.
Guess what? The ushers mistook him for one of the ‘surprise guest ministers’ and led him to sit on one of the pastors’ seats in front. Anyone who saw him thought he was the guest of honour to grace the conference. In the midst of the program, he was randomly handed a microphone to greet the house and bring exhortation to the congregants. To our utmost dismay, this young man in his late 30s began sweating profusely in a fully air conditioned auditorium. He couldn’t even put his thoughts together let alone bring exhortation.
Getting to the end of the conference, Joe Mettle said, “Being seen is not the same as being valuable. If you are empty but you crave visibility, you are living in jeopardy. Without capacity, you can’t occupy the city. Always choose being significant over being seen.” These profound words gave me a paradigm shift.
That experience reminded me of what psychologists describe as the Dunning – Kruger effect. Sometimes people with limited knowledge overestimate their competence. Empty barrels, they say, make the most noise. Conversely, those who possess genuine expertise often speak and carry themselves with greater humility because they appreciate the complexity of what they know and how much they still have to learn.
I came home after the program still thinking about the embarrassment the young man had made of himself. The truth is, every human heart longs to be seen. We all want our presence to matter. We want someone to notice our efforts, appreciate our sacrifices, and acknowledge our existence. That is a genuine desire for belonging.
The tragedy is when being seen becomes more important than becoming valuable. In that pursuit, we can become performers instead of learners. We polish appearances while neglecting substance. We chase platforms before developing characters. We become occupied with being impressive rather than being useful.
I have come to the realisation that I do not need to manufacture importance. My responsibility is not to become famous but to become faithful. If recognition comes, I should receive it with humility. If it does not, I should continue growing in wisdom, knowledge, understanding, integrity, and service because these qualities have cascading effects.
In the end, attention is temporary, but value endures. Recognition may fill a moment, but character fills a lifetime. Human dignity grows when we no longer measure our lives by how brightly we are seen, but how deeply we help others see hope, truth, wisdom, and their own immeasurable worth.
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